Tampa Bay Fantasy League

BREAKING NEWS

The TBFL news desk has confirmed that in the wake of the destruction of Hurricane Ike, twelve TBFL players have received permission to fly into Galveston to provide assistance to storm survivors.

“Our players have strong ties to their hometown communities and some of them just felt it would not be right to be playing football when they could be helping families in their worst hour of need” said Commissioner and South Park Cows owner Shannon Harris. “Andre [Johnson] called me on the way to the airport concerned about his family there. I told him not to worry and that the AND owner’s jet would pick him up. It may be the first TNA Night of the year, but there was no way Mike [Miller - AND owner] was going to deny his guys.”

Armed N Dangerous players Willis McGahee, Ahman Green, and Steve Slaton and Runs N Throses WR Derrick Mason are all among the players making their way down to assist today. Not be outdone by AND, Bay Area Thrashers owner Kevin Beveridge mandated that his entire starting defensive squad go as well.

“We are only playing the Warriors, so we probably won’t even need those guys” he said. “The rest of our squad can play both ways and we will still kick their asses up and down the field.”

Other TBFL players who will miss games on Sunday include Todd Heap, Joe Flacco, Ray Rice, Kevin Walter, Matt Schaub, and Kris Brown.

Three things are certain in life, Death, Taxes and Runs N Throses using all of their allotted time to make a draft pick.

Yep, I am back, sort of.

Your illustrious Commish, during a lapse in sanity, has given me access to comment on the happenings of the TBFL since I have nothing better to do during the NFL Throwball season.

Let us begin my weekly (or not so weekly) report on all things TBFL by giving a clear, level-headed, unbiased review of the 2008 TBFL Selection Meeting.

Armed N Dangerous

AnD came into the draft stacked at quarterback with The Gunslinger, Tony Romo and Aaron Rodgers. The rest of the roster is irrelevant as the only thing that matters about this team is that we can track the progress of The Gunslinger as he nears 300 career Favres, though you may call them interceptions. I was a little disappointed to see that The Gunslinger did not hit the 300 mark last season, but we all know The Gunslinger is all about boosting his career stats and I just knew he was coming back to make sure he cemented his legacy as the all-time leader in career Favres.

Bay Area Thrashers

The Thrashers sent your favorite all-time TBFL team, Morning Wood, into retirement on a bitter note by defeating the Wood in the championship game last season. The BAT selected Reggie Bush at the end of round one at which point draft prognosticators told anyone who would listen that they should have selected Mario Williams. Williams 18.5 career sacks versus 15 career touchdowns for Reggie Bush, point proven.

Fudgie Whales

The Whales draft can be summed up by four words … Jay Cutler … Jason Campbell. Here are four more … Are you truly serious? Thanks for donating to the TBFL cause.

Hurricanes

The Hurricanes went out on a limb and selected LaDainian Tomlinson with the #1overall pick. Did someone tell the Hurricanes that the TE position is not required? If that rule ever changes though, the ‘Canes are all set.

Marauders

The Marauders keepers were something to behold. Whoever left those gems for this roster was a freaking genius. I guess the Marauders didn’t quite understand that LenDale White does not get points for pounds of food eaten.

Money Inc

Tatum Bell, quite a steal. Yes, that is low-lying fruit but come on you have to take it. It is quite ironic though that Bell best carry as a Lion was taking someone else’s gear.

Playground Legends

By far, the Legends selected the best set of back up running backs in the league. Guess we are going to see a lot of Run –n- Shoot out of the Legends this year. Can someone let Chad Johnson know that 85 in Spanish is actually Ochenta Cinco?

Runs N Throses

Another team that somehow beat the awesome Morning Wood for a league championship. I really want to mock the Throses draft but overall I think they did a great job, of course when you take all of your allotted time, you better do well. The Commish is eagerly awaiting your weekly phone call to make your roster moves. It is nice to know that some things will never change.

South Park Cows

The Cows produced a decent draft, but can you really count on Elisha Nelson Manning and David Garrard? With a weakened division it looks like the Cows might actually procure a playoff spot and might actually produce a winning record.

UO Grandmasters

Well, lookie here. We got yet another team that defeated the Morning Wood to win the TBFL Championship. Rumor has it that the Wood ownership is still bitter at the six-point loss. Let us squash those rumors right now; they are bitter that they never got their PS3 or Blu-Ray player from someone who worked for Sony. I mean they contributed to letting the Grandmasters ownership propel their life forward and the Wood still have not received a thank you. Let us hope that the Grandmasters can someday make up for their complete ungratefulness.

Warriors

One of the only things more certain than The Ohio State University Buckeyes destroying the Michigan Wolverines AGAIN, is that the Warriors will have yet another horrid season. It has been 1,751 days since Michigan last beat Ohio State in a football game, just about the same amount of time it has been since the Warriors had a winning record against the Morning Wood. The Warriors selected Mario Manningham with their last selection; at least Manningham is used to losing big games, so he will fit right in with this team.

X-Factor

Due to selecting the greatness that is Troy Smith, the X-Factor proved that while related to the Warriors, they can make much better decisions. Look for a sweep of the Warriors by X-Factor dooming the Warriors to a 4th place finish.

Until next weekish, enjoy the Throwball.

Just a reminder not to miss out on the 2008 TBFL Weekly NFL Pick Pool and the 2008
TBFL Survivor Pool – You can find both on the main MyFantasyLeague page under the header “CONTESTS” on the navigation column.

The 2008 TBFL Draft is in the books and it’s time to get down to some serious competition. Remember that the season starts on Thursday night, so enter your starting lineups for all Giants and Redskins before that game kicks off. The rest of the lineups are due at the normal time before the kickoff of first games on Sunday.

I still need fees turned in from a select few of you – you know who you are…
Get them sent to my PayPal at shannon.harris@gmail.com

Commish